Senses diary

Tell me:

2008-07-12T03:05:00.000-07:00

How can flowers spread their smell without little changes?
How can you say you have nowhere to go
If life is nothing but a complex of endless roads?

How do you find those?
walking
How do you know when you get there?
you tell me

How do I wake up in the morning
How do I sleep
How do I live

Answers, no answers.

I cannot tell you where your road leads
I can tell mine
I make my choices in order to see my way

Your choices
You tell me.

Music Test

2008-05-10T04:51:00.000-07:00

1- Choose a band to answer the questions.
2- Answer them only with song titles.

The Beatles

Are you a woman or a guy?
The fool on the Hill

Describe yourself.
Dear Prudence.

What do people think of you?
I am the Walrus

How would you describe your last relationship?
All things must pass

Describe you actual relationship with a boyfriend ?
Ticket to Ride

How / Where would you like to be right now?
Free as a bird
Here there and everywhere

What do you think about love?
Do you want to know a secret?

How is your life?
The long and winding road.

What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Strawberry fields forever

Write down a clever quote.
Happiness is a warm gun.

Thank you for smoking less.

2008-04-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

4 days without buying a cigarette pack.
and two days without smoking a bloody cigarette.

I hope it becomes a habit.

Jack The Ripper

I am in love
with this band...

Not to forget.

2008-04-25T04:14:00.000-07:00

Just pretend I am still coming back.

Alain Souchon - J`ai dix ans

The sun shines, and with this song it gets even more lovely.

Anonymous quotes.

2008-04-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

Well, If right now I remain silent, I have found some interesting quotes to speak for me , for instance.
Just need a break in time.

Satisfaction is the death of desire.

Coulda, woulda, Shoulda.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

You have no rights. Sit down.

be back soon.

Mamãe vai a loucura...

2008-04-19T11:27:00.000-07:00

...e eu fico pasma com a capacidade que Chico Buarque tem pra compor.

A minha tristeza não é feita de angústias
A minha tristeza não é feita de angústias
A minha surpresa
A minha surpresa é só feita de fatos
De sangue nos olhos e lama nos sapatos
Minha fortaleza
Minha fortaleza é de um silêncio infame
Bastando a si mesma, retendo o derrame
A minha represa.

Esses lindos versos compõem o meu dia de hoje.

Aliás, hoje eu estou musical por demais. Mais do que o habitual.

2008-04-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

Luna - Smashing Pumpkins.

Who belongs
Who decides whos crazy
Who rights wrongs
Where others cling.

Papai e mamãe sempre diziam:

2008-04-17T14:46:00.001-07:00

"Uma porta se fecha para que outras infindas se abram diante des seus olhos."

How?

2008-04-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

How can I go forward when I don't
know which way I'm facing?
How can I go forward when I don't
know which way to turn?
How can I go forward into
something that I'm not sure of?
Oh no,
Oh no,
How can I have feeling if I don't
know if it's a feeling?
How can I feel something if I just
don't know how to feel,
How can I have feelings when my
feelings have always been denied?
Oh no,
Oh no,
How can I give love when I don't
know what it is I'm giving?
How can I give love when I just
don't know how to give?
How can I give love when love is
something I aint never had?
Oh no,
Oh no,
You know life can be long,
And you have got to be so strong,
And the world is so tough sometimes
I feel I have had enough,
Oh no,
Oh no,
How can we go forward when we don't
know which way we're facing?
How can we go forward when we don't
know which way to turn?
How go forward into something we're not sure of?
Oh no,
Oh no.

credits to Paulo, my friend, who remembered the song today.
Good remark.

Só quem entende é quem entende o que eu quero dizer.

2008-04-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

Hoje eu acordei com uma vontade de tomar decisões.
Decisões essas que receara tomar por um bom tempo
E quanto mais esse tempo passara
mais intenso era o desejo de enfim tomar essas decisões.

Hoje eu comecei a tomá-las.
Uma das que tomei é de certa forma
dolorida
Posto que, do contrário, não seria romance.
Mas eu a tomei e agora não há mais volta.

Ao mesmo tempo que escrevo essas palavras
Me pego pensando se haveria volta
se tudo continuasse como estava.
Soprando fraco e deixando tudo
ser levado pela brisa morna.

Não. Essa não é a brisa que almejo tocar.
A brisa do quase.
A brisa do que poderia ter sido ou do que pode ser.

Eu almejo o palpável aos olhos.

Conceptual insight.

2008-04-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

The pocket is not meant to carry things
it is a hideout

The mirror is not meant to reflect one`s crust
but to dislodge it from one`s soul

The melody does not have the intention to speak
but to say it undilutedly.

I wrote this some minutes ago.

Sommige verstandige citaten.

2008-04-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

"The composer reveals the innermost nature of the world, and expresses the profoundest wisdom in a language that his reasoning faculty does not understand" Arthur Schopenhauer: Ch III, The World As Representation (1819; 1844)

"Hereafter, in a better world than this,
I shall desire more love and knowledge of you."

William Shakespeare : Le Beau scene iii , Act I

"Every time a man is begotten and born, the clock of human life is wound up anew to repeat once more its same old tune that has already been played innumerable times, movement by movement and measure by measure, with insignificant variations." Arthur Schopenhauer : Ch. 4, The World As Will.)

"Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind
As man's ingratitude."

William Shakespeare : Amiens, scene vii , Act III

"Die Erinnerung wirkt wie das Sammlungsglas in der Camera obscura: Sie zieht alles zusammen und bringt dadurch ein viel schöneres Bild hervor, als sein Original ist."

"The memory works like the collection glass in the Camera obscura: It gathers all together from it is produced a far more beautiful picture, than was originally there." A man's face as a rule says more, and more interesting things, than his mouth, for it is a compendium of everything his mouth will ever say, in that it is the monogram of all this man's thoughts and aspirations. Arthur Schopenhauer : Aphorisms on the Wisdom of Life

"He who wants to be born must destroy a world." Hermann Hesse: Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth (1919)

"A man's face as a rule says more, and more interesting things, than his mouth, for it is a compendium of everything his mouth will ever say, in that it is the monogram of all this man's thoughts and aspirations."
Arthur Schopenhauer

2008-04-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

I think this self portrait says for itself.

"Would you write a symphony
that you knew no one would listen to?

Would you paint a masterpiece
that you knew no one would ever see?

Would hold on in belief
If knew that love is a mystery?

This is what I would do
This is what I would do..."

...

Back to chapter 11: Francis Bacon. It`ll be a long night talking with art.

In a hurry...

2008-04-12T03:28:00.000-07:00

I`m in a hurry, but it is just to make a remark:

What a marvelous day, yesterday.

Half of it thanks to Louise Bourgeois and Centre du Pompidou. Her exhibition was really interesting and about Paris and the companies...
...I`m speechless.

Last Countdown.

2008-04-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

I should in sleeping by now, but I cannot.
I am anxious.
I cannot wait for Paris.
Exhibitions;
New sights.

ah.

Stop maar met babelen.

2008-04-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

I`ve been talking too much, I know, but I have quite few news to give.

I have finally finished recording /editing another composition of mine. I have already added to my deezer jukebox.

O oposto.mp3

Lost for a while and found some other time.

2008-04-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

Searching for some poems of mine spread in the internet I`ve found an old blog that I use to have an year ago.
One of the texts that I wrote touched me (it`s in Portuguese). It fits very well to the moment.

Uma nova paisagem.

Hoje eu fui a procura de uma nova paisagem. Me via cansada de movimentar compulsivamente para os mesmos lugares. De fato, pensava eu, por falta de escolha, mas me contradisse. Em 40 minutos estaria em um novo país, e mesmo assim não me dei conta que esse tempo era curto e vantajoso, pois em poucos minutos eu respiraria novos ares.
Lá fui eu com a força que mal tenho para ler quando sou obrigada. Era madrugada quando peguei o primeiro transporte. À medida que ia me afastando da cidade de origem os cenários mudavam (é óbvio), mas a temperatura também...tornava-se cada vez mais frio. De repente, as paisagens tornaram-se embranquecidas pelo inverno. A grama branca, As árvores secas, com uma subtil camada de gelo sobre seus finos galhos fracos.
Após uma longa jornada, fiz a minha primeira parada, já tardia, posto que perdera o próximo transporte. Como o frio estava insuportável (-4 ° C ), me acolhi em um posto de gasolina próximo ao ponto.
"Een pakje cigarett, alstublieft." (um maço de cigarro, por favor) eu disse ao dono do posto. E após o cigarro, me pus sentada a ler meus módulos sobre atualidade da arte. Comecei a ler, após semanas ter comprado o módulo e faltando um dia para a minha prova.

Eu tinha em mente, de certo, a frustração de tentar ler textos em uma língua a qual não tenho fluência com o objetivo de absorver informação, sem poder entender o texto por completo. E por essas e outras, esse medo, ou melhor, essa pré idealização de uma sensação me fez deixar para ler de última hora. Sim, a consciência meio que pesava. Pesava por ter chegado até a um determinado lugar e ter a sensação de ali ficar, inerte. Analiso meus processos e constatei que essa sensação de inercia é para a qual eu estou aprendendo a criar anti corpos.
Enfim, voltemos a outros aspectos que me tocam. No momento que comecei a ler esses textos e percebi elementos de identificação por minha parte com os artistas nos textos em questão, era como se conversasse com eles. Enquanto os lia, me punha além das palavras e imaginava aspectos de suas vidas que me levariam a deliniar as figuras de suas imagens. E com isso, já se passara 35 minutos de espera. Meus pés estremeciam, ardiam de frio. Sentia as meias como se estivessem molhadas e estivessem a ponto de solidificação. Enquanto congelava, mesmo dentro do posto, continuava a ler os textos com a motivacão de quem não quer desistir no último momento. Comecei a ler rascunhos sobre vida e obra de Louise Borgeois, escultora francesa. entrei no ónibus com ela e a viagem novamente começou. as mãos, coberta de luvas paginavam os textos até que chegou em uma espécie de diário da artista. Meus olhos, enquanto a liam, saltavam de uma emoção risível, uma sensação rara. A medida que lia sobre suas idéias, me via completamente nelas. as minhas intenções com a arte, a minha maneira de expressar, os elementos que acho relevante na minha forma de expressão.

Dois trechos que me chamaram a atenção:

"In a refusal to come to grips with the problem you project yourself at the horizon. The landscapes explode in a desire to escape, to distance yourself and dissolve the anxiety. Terror is turned outward toward the understanding of the universe. The introjection of the landscape is the lair."

"the spiral is an attempt at controlling the chaos. It has two directions. Where do you place yourself, at the periphery or at the vortex? Beginning at the outside is the fear of losing control; the winding in is a tightening, a retreating, a compacting to the point of disappearance. Beginning at the center is affirmation, the move outward is a representation of giving, and giving up control; of trust, positive energy, or life itself."

A viagem, após essas citações tornou-se mais prazeiroza, assim como a leitura dos textos. E apesar do frio, foi uma viagem composta de uma nova paisagem. Gélida na casca, branda aqui dentro.

Eu não estava ali sozinha. Acompanhada estava de outras idéias.

Welterusten.

six twenty nine

2008-04-09T07:07:00.001-07:00

six twenty nine
Originally uploaded by antimethod

This is an amazing short video that I found in flickr, while trying to upload the pictures. The tempo inside the video and the image itself fits very well to the sound track.

Here comes the sun
(where?)
Here comes the sun and I say
where?

en leven de lente...

some very few photos on flickr

2008-04-09T01:50:00.001-07:00

DSCF0962
Originally uploaded by polesapart

I did not manage to upload all the photos on my flickr account and this is because of the bloody upload limit here in lieveling Belgium.

I`ll be trying to do it so via the computer in the atelier.

Better news is that...

2008-04-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

...I was invited today by my coordinator of the Experimental Atelier to go to Paris this Friday, just for a day, visiting the exhibitions around.
We`ll be basically visiting Centre Pompidou and Musée d'Orsay.

Just the fact that I`ll be there, invited by the coordinator, to a completely unconventional day, visiting a place that I haven`t seen for 8 years leaves a great sensation. In addition, I`ll be able to take more than a thousand new photos.

Inspired.

2008-04-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

I have finally managed to transfer my photos to the computer from the experimental atelier, but in the end there were more than 1000 photos, so I did not manage to burn all of them to a cd.

This is one of them.
Later on I`ll be uploading my photos in my flickr account.

2008-04-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

Expression of the day:

a tough nut to crack.

http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/hard%2Ftough+nut+to+crack

Sill taken by capoeira`s effects....

2008-03-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

..and so I`ve decided to add this lovely African/ Brazilian rhythm to my own compositions. The first song I recorded was a song I`ve made for Jon

I liked the result, considering the low quality material (computer, microphone, guitar) I`ve used to record the song.
Still, it feels kinda weird to listen to my own voice.
(I have upgraded the deezer jukebox with my song aside the blog, so it`s probably the one you`re listenning right now :)

If I can think of reason why I like my country so much, I shall say that in the first place comes the music. I am enchanted by Brazilian rhythms.

Capoeira.

2008-03-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning I start my capoeira lessons.

Unbelievable. After 22 years, I end up following capoeira lessons, not in Brazil but in Belgium.

Capoeira lessons in Belgium...bloody tourist, I am.

Not taking it too serious...

2008-03-29T03:35:00.000-07:00

...here are some cartoons to make this diary a bit lighter.